Hosting at your house can be somewhat of a mixed bag – you never know what you’re going to get. Sometimes, no matter how good of a host you are, your guests may make the experience intolerable.
Here, people share their worst house guest stories.
I was throwing a get well soon party for a friend who developed testicular cancer, and a drunk guest thought it would be hilarious to punch a guy with testicular cancer in the balls.
Yeah… that wasn’t funny at all.
GlastonBerry48
I had my brother-in-law over to do some work on the plumbing. He is very handy and a skilled contractor but his career has been derailed by drinking. Anyway, he heads down to the basement and after about an hour he comes up and tells us he is done and heads on out. We paid him before the job, and after he left we went downstairs to check his work. Not only did he not do anything, but he drank three bottles of wine we had been saving for our anniversary that were pretty much irreplaceable. Did I mention he was 35 years old and my wife’s brother?
schmidtty1089
A neighbor randomly shows up at front door looking panicked. He asks if he could use the restroom so of course I said yes. Well 30 minutes later he finishes up, thanks me and leaves. I check the restroom and it looks like a war zone. Magazines were scattered everywhere, toilet paper on the ground, and the smell… I’ll never forget the smell. Imagine you kill someone, eat their rotting corpse, and then head over to your neighbors house and take a dump in their toilet. But that’s not the messed up part. I then proceed to watch him pull out of my drive way, down the street and then into his OWN DRIVEWAY THEN WALK INTO HIS OWN HOUSE! What was he thinking? I don’t think you can get much more disrespectful than that.
umbleleon991
A few years ago at my birthday party this guy showed up with four of his male friends. None of them brought any alcohol. I should have just not let them in until they came back with some beer but I was in a good mood and didn’t want to be a jerk about it.
They proceeded to complain that the party was a sausagefest and there wasn’t enough booze (It’s almost like a group of five dudes showed up empty handed) and left after about an hour. But then I discovered the worst part…
My friend had bought me a bottle of Delirium Tremens as a birthday present (That’s about a $12 bottle of beer) which I was saving for midnight since that was when my birthday technically started, and one member of the douche brigade had opened it, taken a couple sips and left it on the kitchen counter. I would have been less pissed if he at least drank the whole thing so somebody could enjoy it, but instead I had to just pour it out.
AceOfDrafts
My sister-in-law decided to use my house as a pit-stop once when we were away for a weekend.
She had relations with her boyfriend (or someone else) on our guest bed and didn’t clean the sheets. There was stuff all over the sheets, and I think on my couch in the basement as well. Unopened prophylactics laying all around the room like presents for my kids to find. Put her takeout in a dresser drawer, so like a bonus when her omelette went rancid a day or two later and we opened the door we got a special smelly gift.
billbapapa
Someone stole my wife’s camera at a party. It was a big party, but we knew all of the guests. One of our friends is a thief. Losing the camera hurt less than finding out we couldn’t trust our friends.
yacht_boy
My sister and her husband visited for a week. They actually stayed at our parents’ house, but were at my house (I live next door) during the days and evenings the majority of the time. My brother-in-law was a little good-for-nothing jerk.
My husband was out of work at the time, so things were kind of tight. My dad had given him a case of beer for helping out with something or other, so he was drinking them sparingly to make them last. Brother-in-law helped himself and finished off the case, except for two my husband managed to hide, promising to buy more…
He also bummed my husband’s cigarettes all day, every day, promising to buy more. Brother-in-law complained that they were ultra-lights and that it took three or four to get the buzz a regular one gave him. When my husband finally got tired of this, he hid his packs of cigarettes and rolled some loose tobacco to offer when brother-in-law wanted cigarettes. Brother-in-law took one puff and threw it on the ground and stomped it and complained that it tasted nasty.
We were then having a combo 4th of July/Brother-in-law birthday cookout. He said he was going to buy steaks for everyone. My mom took him shopping, he saw the price of steaks and decided to buy himself a steak and burgers for everyone else. My mom ended up buying everyone steaks. She got sirloins, but got my dad a ribeye. When the steaks were cooking, my brother-in-law insisted that he get the ribeye and got mad when we wouldn’t give it to him.
Also at this cookout, my husband had brought the last two of the previously mentioned beers and put them at the bottom of the cooler. I had bought a cheaper brand of beer for him to share. Next thing we know, brother-in-law is drinking the last “good” beer, complaining that the other was cheap and tasted nasty…
One morning, mom made country ham and biscuits for breakfast. There was enough for everyone to have a decent sized serving. Brother-in-law took about half the ham and piled it on a biscuit, which left about one little slice each for everyone else.
I’m so glad she left him finally. But then she let the next boyfriend move in with her after a few weeks of dating, so I’m just waiting for the next disaster.
Queen_Gumby
I had a friend that stole my grandpa’s pain medication while my friend was living with us rent-free. We’re no longer friends.
[deleted]
I was having a small social gathering in my house, few good friends and a couple of their friends. I knew we’d all end up drunk so I put my expensive guitar in its hard case and hid it my cupboard.
Anyway a while later one of my friends drunk friends somehow discovers it, runs in the living room swinging it about pretending to be a rock star of sorts knocking the head stock and other parts of the body off the wall. Unintentionally of course, he was just a drunken jerk. But still, the next day I realized there was dents, missing chips of paint and scratches all over it.
Never saw him again after that.
MeMuzzta
At my older daughters birthday party my mother-in-law told all the guests that our younger daughter was not my husband’s child and was the product of an affair. I’ve never cheated.
She stole clothes from my older daughter’s closet. Same party. Stole from her. On her birthday. During her party.
Denies that our older daughter is autistic, doesn’t follow house rules, repeatedly aggravating my daughter to the point of self-harm.
When allowed to visit has the gall to ask why we never let her visit.
My ex invited a friend of his to hang out for a few days. Well, a few days turned into over a week. During that time, the friend left used tissues on every surface. It was disgusting. He’d also leave empty beer bottles wherever he finished the beer. I found bottles in the shower, behind the toilet, on windowsills. I finally had enough and threw him out late one night after he tried to take the remote away from me because what I wanted to watch was “stupid.” I don’t even remember what I was watching, but it’s my house, my TV, and I paid for the damn cable.
[deleted]
I invited a bunch of friends for my birthday when I was eight. Everyone went downstairs to eat the cake except one guy. I went back upstairs to go and fetch him and saw the idiot searching in the box where I had all my games, he told me he was just looking if I had any game he could borrow, which was fine by me if he asked.
I told him to come down, thinking nothing of it. Sure as hell that night I couldn’t find my favourite game: Pokmon silver (still the best one in my opinion). Told my parents, they told his mom, who was spoiling him and told us that her little angel would never do something like that. It’s been almost 12 years and I still despise the little jerk.
IncredibleBubble
I brought a bunch of random people over to a party at my house (he didn’t know any of them, he just wanted to hook up). Ditched them at the party once he figured out these random girls weren’t going to put out for him. Ditched them at the party once he figured out these random girls weren’t going to put out for him.
These girls proceeded to absolutely destroy my bedroom and bathroom. As well as steal all the shampoo, soap, and toilet paper. One of these people took a dump in the bathroom sink.
Burning_Monkey
I was a bad guest once. New Year’s eve 2010, puked in a wicker basket at my friend’s nice cottage. Puking in that basket made the mess 10 times worse.
japalian
My roommate and I dated on and off. During one “off” period, she started seeing this misogynistic, aggressively macho guy.
She had plans with him one and he came over early so she was still getting ready.
Several of my friends were hanging out and this guy decided to play to the audience by bad mouthing my roommate to us. After about five minutes of him calling my roommate stupid and worthless in various ways, my friends and I physically threw him out.
ZenRage
When I was five my family lived in Indiana for a couple years. We traveled a lot because of my dad’s occupation so every now and then when we’d go as a family we would need someone to house sit. Naturally when you move a lot it’s hard to have people you know really well to watch over everything you own. I didn’t know the people my parents asked to watch the house (I was only five), but all I remember was when we got home and opened the door – the best way to describe it was it looked like we got robbed…
Drawers in the kitchen were open and dishes were everywhere; couch cushions were soiled; the bathroom… oh god the bathroom…
But the thing I remember the most was some of my toys were broken, my brand new N64 had Play-Doh jammed in it, and my favorite picture of me and my dad that I kept by my bed was covered in Sharpie.
Never saw that family again, but the memory still makes me rage to this day.
ElectrikShot
We had a really big Thanksgiving at our house for the first (and last) time a few years ago. All the little kids were sent upstairs to play. My siblings and I had shut our bedroom doors. The kids were given our big living room to play in and stuff. But, like an hour later, someone goes up to get the little kids for dinner, and there was a ton of my acrylic paint all over the wall and the couch. Now, this was not your regular $1 a bottle paint. This was GOOD paint that I had saved a lot for. The paint that was not all over the walls had gotten mixed together and destroyed. Now, if that was not enough, the lady, who I think was my dad’s cousin (not sure) DID NOT tell us what happened at all. So, we did not find out till after dinner. Once we asked if someone knew, she said “Oh I did not want to ruin Thanksgiving!”
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We ended up having to get rid of the couch (which was pretty much brand new), paint over the wall some three times. And my paint was ruined. The paint was the smallest tragedy.
We are still bothered that she did not even apologize for what happened. It was her daughter and son that did it.
NoAshesNavy
One of my friends from a few years ago was sleeping over. He was lying in the guest bed next to mine and having a casual wank on webcam with some girl. He wasn’t even covering up with the blanket.
Shattermind
My younger cousin stole my phone at Easter. Not like, ‘Haha I’m taking your phone away and playing games on it and won’t give it back’ but like, ‘I know you took it, give it back or we’ll call the police.” He denied having it so we called the police. He also stole my aunt’s wallet, and this was actually at her house. We don’t invite him to family functions anymore.
MoonshineSchneider
My buddy drank about ten shots of vodka and washed it down with a bag of gummy worms and a few donuts. He soon passed out sitting up on my couch with his head tilted back. Within ten minutes he was spewing vomit like a fountain into the air all over himself so I ran over to him and guided him outside where he coated my patio with puke.
At this time I was really squeamish with puke so I gave him a roll of paper towels to get some of it off my table. He takes the whole roll in hand and uses it as a squeegee to scrape it onto the carpet before he slinks down into the vomit-encrusted couch to go back to sleep.
We’re still best friends.
[deleted]
My boyfriend’s sister stayed with us for four weeks when she moved to our state while she was finding a job/place.
She is gluten-free and vegan and we are not. at. all. She constantly criticized our food choices and would completely jam pack the fridge with her stuff that we were not to touch. She also cooked her god awful stir fries with my Calphalon pans (I saved forever to buy those) using forks to stir and consequently scratched the non stick coating off of the two largest (and most useful) skillets rendering them absolutely useless. I asked her many times to use the wooden spoons or plastic spoons to cook and she just blatantly ignored me.
My boyfriend owes me a new Calphalon pan set.
Floozy
Comments have been edited for clarity and content.