Even good kids can be hard to control sometimes. But then again, doesn’t every parent think their child is one of the good ones?
Here, fellow parents, kids and innocent bystanders recount stories of absurd ways moms and dads have defended their children’s unruly behaviour. Enjoy! And make sure to check out the sources at the bottom for more.
1. A trip to the gross-ery store.
It happened at a grocery store in the line to the cashier. A woman was waiting with a kid maybe 5, 6 I’m not sure. The boy started spitting at the people around him and the mom didn’t say a word. There was a girl standing behind them who became frustrated with the kids behaviour and nicely asked the mom if she could tell him to stop. She turned around and told the girl that she is raising her child stress-free.
As you can imagine, this ridiculous response didn’t sit too well with the girl. The boy looked at her and started spitting again, so the annoyed girl took out her chewing gum from her mouth and placed it on the boys forehead. The little guy stared crying and his mom yelling, Why would you do that?! You are so rude!!. The girl replied: Well I guess I was also raised stress-free.
Jola Z
2. We don’t really do ‘sharing’ here.
I was visiting a family at their house with my parents when I was younger (I forget the age but lets say around 6). We were playing near the stairwell and I reached for a toy that was sat in between us. She looked up from her toy and grabbed for the doll I was reaching for saying, Thats mine. I agreed, and tried to explain that I didn’t bring any toys and we were to share. She snatched the doll closer to herself and when I grabbed for the toy, she pushed me down the stairs. Mind you, this was a full flight of wooden stairs. Once I reached the bottom, I began to cry and call for my father. Both of her parents came in, and once they heard our stories, the girls mother stood behind her and went, She doesn’t like sharing, Catherine shouldn’t have tried to take it.
She blamed me for her daughter pushing me down the stairs. I still see this girl, but needless to say we ignore each other.
Catherine C
3. What a terrifying child.
My mother has a friend, lets call her M. Shes a very nice lady, a bit vulgar at times, but otherwise a good person to be around (if shes alone). M has a son, who I will call J, and he is a horrible insufferable child. I am not exaggerating. The kid is genuinely malicious and unkind. (Story continues…)
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Last I heard, he was at a party in the park where folks were cooking on fire and fishing. A lot of our friends were there, including this particular family. J decided that he wanted something to drink, so he went up to his mom, and said Wheres my drink?. No please, nothing polite, just said it like that. She asked what he wanted, and he said he wanted a Sprite. She said she didnt pack him a Sprite and all hell broke loose. WHY DIDNT YOU PACK ME A SPRITE!, he yelled and made a huge scene, the whole park was looking at them like him and his family are crazy. Until, another friend of ours offered him a Sprite from their cooler J walked over to the cooler, tipped it over and spilled all of its contents, again, making a scene. His mother acted like nothing had gone wrong, and again, people saw and tried their best to forgive it.
Later, (and Im leaving out some other things he did that day) his dad and the other dads were fishing. His dad went over to where the moms were, to grab some food, so J felt like he could do what he wanted cause his dad wasnt watching. J walked over to the other men, and started kicking them. Sure, hes only 8, but kicking people is wrong and it can still leave bruises on even a grown man, you should raise your kid not to hit or kick other people. One of the men there told him If you dont stop now, the next time I ask I wont be so kind – so J started kicking harder, he loved the attention he was getting. Another man, who I know is humorous and good-hearted, said Maybe hell stop if we throw him in the water?. Suddenly, J starts screaming and crying and runs over to his mother, who begins comforting him, and his father goes over to the men and starts an argument. As M is comforting J, he starts throwing a fit, kicking and hitting her, and calling her a stupid cow. Then, yet another man from our circle comes over, and tells J, This is no way to be treating your mother, you will respect her. Apparently, thats the wrong thing to do, because M just looks at this man with such disgust in her face, like he just did something incredibly disrespectful, how DARE he say something like this to her precious angel!
At another party we were at, there was a family with kids of a similar age who spoke the same language as us, so her mother thought it would be fit for them to play together. J kicked one of the girls in the face and said many vulgar things to them, while many other people were watching (M didnt see though), and then told his mom that they were being mean to him (absolutely a lie). At this same party, he kept jumping on a couch, and the host told him to please stop because he might hurt himself – J told her to shut up. And his mom saw nothing wrong with him saying that.
Many months ago, a disabled boy lived in Js neighbourhood. I dont know what his diagnosis is but he was really sweet. M would always send J off to play with him, and J one day came back and said (Disabled boy) said that I cant play with him anymore because his mom said Im a jerk – his mom was not the kind of woman to call someone a jerk for no reason. Knowing how violent he is, God knows what he was doing to that boy! M got really upset, and said If that woman has a problem with me she shouldnt take it out on my son. Shortly after, the family moved away, very quickly sold their house, and didnt even bother to say bye to anyone – J literally bullied a disabled boy out of his neighbourhood. His mother saw nothing wrong, again. (Story continues…)
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Regularly, this boy says very vulgar things. At New Years he kept telling me and my fianc to shove things up our corn-hole, and just all sorts of other vulgar things. He regularly talks about seriously inappropriate things, far beyond the normal fart jokes little boys find funny. He kept telling my god-brother once that he was gonna defecate on him. He literally describes horrid acts in front of people because he thinks its fun. He says things like this in front of children, in front of adults, in front of anyone. This is a running theme among him so I decided not to go into too much detail, no one would want to hear it anyway.
And do you know what his mother says to all of this?
Hes just a little boy. Thats how little boys are!
Bee B
4. There’s always that one kid on the plane.
I was on a flight recently. A child, may be 5 year old, kept knocking my seat from behind. He was restless. At times he would howl so loud that it startled me from inside. I controlled myself for a while, and then I looked behind. He was sitting with his mom, I asked her to make him stop or Ill complain to the air hostess. (Story continues…)
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His mother tells me, he is a child, if you have a problem then ask the air hostess to change the seat. We have paid INR 5000 for this seat, he is free to do whatever he wants to.
That was so rude that I couldnt say anything further. I was annoyed to the core, an early morning flight, lack of sleep and an irritating child made things worse. For some reason that kid started knocking my seat with higher frequency after I complained.
Indian parents like to pamper their children a lot, theyll listen to whatever demands they make. These kind of kids make for bad adults in the future. If they are not taught respect at this age then how can you expect them to grow up as a responsible citizen in the future?
Anshul K
5. Sometimes, you’re the weird parent.
My wife is not immune to this behavior either – when my oldest was less than a year old, my wife was suffering from a case of My baby is perfect, why dont complete strangers love her as much as I do? (Story continues…)
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At a supermarket checkout, my daughter was just starting teething and was gnawing halfheartedly on a baby toy when she got her hands on one of the grocery items, (which of course is infinitely more attractive to infants than anything designed to be chewed on). My wife pried it from her gummy embrace and placed it on the belt, neglecting to wipe it clean of copious amounts of saliva before doing so.
Teething babies think this is just about the worst thing to chew on.
When the cashier picked up the item and realized it was wet with spit, she made a face, grabbed a rag and wiped the item and then pointedly wiped her hand clean.
My wife, lost in a haze of baby craze, said, in a teasing but truly earnest tone, What, its only sweet baby drool
No supermarket cashier should have to be subjected to the secretions of an infant, no matter how sweet or adorable the parents believe the infant to be.
Ross G
6. Absurd defence. Amazing dad.
This took place back in 2008 when I was in class 10. I went to a renowned boy’s school and those who went to a boy’s school know a lot of notorious activities take place almost every day. As we were approaching the last few days of school we were fully charged and tried different ways to entertain ourselves. Our school compound was very big and there was a large fleet of buses for transportation of students to and from home, my bus used to drop us in front of the main gate for easy dispersal and to avoid rush.
We (a group of 6 people) planned to ditch school. Everything went according to plan and we ditched safely and reached the zoo which was almost 1012 km from the school. We enjoyed it a lot and while school was about to end, we headed towards the school and happily occupied our seats in the bus. (Story continues…)
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There was a system in our school where attendance was taken in the bus and a record was sent everyday to the bus-in-charge to avoid any mishap. Here we were trapped. We were scolded very badly by our bus in-charge and were asked to be present tomorrow with our guardians.
I didnt tell my father or mother about the incident and assumed that the matter will be over with after 23 days. After 2 days I went to school assuming that nobody cared what happened that day, but I was totally wrong. I found that among the ditchers I was the only one present that very day and was kept aside during the assembly prayers. My principal and transport in-charge approached me and asked for my fathers number. I apologized first but after a few scoldings I gave them my fathers number. My father was asked to come to the school within 1 hour. I wasnt allowed to enter classroom and was waiting eagerly to see my dad.
After 45 minutes my father arrived and as soon as the news circulated about the arrival of my father, those teachers who had a bad past with me arrived at the spot with a number of complaints. We were surrounded by 1213 teachers in a circle and me and my father were at the centre of the circle. Everyone was complaining about me, suddenly the transport-in-charge stepped forward and yelled:Hadd to tab ho gyi jab aapke bete ne kal school bunk karke ghumne nikaal gya, agar kuchh ho jaata to kaun jaawab deta . (Enough happened when your ward ditched yesterday and was roaming outside, if anything wrong had happened who was responsible).
My father listened to everyones complaint and just said a line.
Sahab, jb jail se kaaidi bhaagta hai to kaaidi ki galti nae, jailer ki gaalti hoti hai. (Sir, when a prisoner escapes from the cell, its jailers mistake, not prisoners).
Everyone was stuck and remained speechless. I was allowed to attend class and from the next day forward the bus was not allowed to drop us off in front of the gate.
It was the best thing my parent said to defend me.
Ankit A
7. The Tweedle Monsters.
In 3rd grade my class went on a field trip to a museum. I forgot which one but it had a bunch of fossils and history stuff.
Anyway, we had a buddy system where the teacher randomly assigned partners to people that we had to stick with the whole day.
Enter a pair of identical twin boys that were known to be really misbehaving, like worse than Fred and George from Harry Potter. Im gonna call them Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber. The teacher, in efforts to reduce the twins antics for the day, split them up. I got paired with Tweedle Dumb and some other girl got Tweedle Dumber. Also, their mother was chaperoning the field trip.
At the museum, there was this exhibit full of interactables for kids, i.e. puzzles and the like. The whole time my class was there, Tweedle Dumb kept throwing puzzles pieces at my head because and I (sorta) quote him when he talked to his friend he wanted to see if I can get Stupidhead Dylan in trouble for yelling at me. I didnt give him the satisfaction of a reaction.
At the same time, Tweedle Dumber was basically harassing the girl (well call her Ashlee) he was partnered with, AKA poking, punching, kicking, pulling her pigtails, and dragging her to whatever he wanted to play with without giving her a say.
The whole time, Tweedle Mom turned a blind eye on her Tweedle Monsters.
This continued until lunch, when Tweedle Dumber saw a Twinkie in Ashlees lunch box and ripped it out of her hands before she unwrapped it.
At this point, Ashlee was 102% fed-up with that noob and told the teacher that he stole part of her lunch. The teacher went to reprimand the kid when Tweedle Mom jumps in and says:
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How dare you let my son go hungry!
Un-believable.
Ashlee was on the brink of tears, between being bullied all day and now losing her lunch all in front of my entire class.
Now if theres one thing Ive always hated my whole life, its when people get away with doing something wrong. And I wasnt gonna let that happen, so long as I could do anything about it.
So I grabbed my half of the Tweedle Tormentors and marched up to the teacher, telling her the entire story everything from throwing puzzle pieces at my head to hitting and dragging Ashlee around without her permission. Then I basically threw one twin at the other and demanded to switch partners.
The mother then proceeded to scold me for telling outrageous lies about her angels.
The teacher was much nicer and more levelheaded, thank goodness, so she let the twins partner up and put me with Ashlee.
On the bus ride home, Ashlee told me after the whole debacle she stole $5 from the moms purse to buy fries from the museum food court and hid them in her backpack. She let me have half of it as long as I didnt rat her out.
We actually became great friends till death did us part.
Dylan M
8. Tiny fists of fury.
As a teen, I was visiting at my boyfriends familys home during a family holiday. Lots of relatives around. I was walking up the stairs, and a very rambunctious four year old cousin of my boyfriend was coming down the stairs, with his mother behind him. The child reached out his hands and punched both of my breasts. I was 17, and embarrassed, in pain, and several other emotions.
His mother saw the whole thing and exclaimed, Isnt he strong?!
Shulamit W
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9. Not a passing grade in parenting.
Parent conference with mom, me (the teacher), three other teachers, a V.P. and the student Mom tells me Hes never had anything below a B until he got put in your class. I have his cumulative folder in front of me. I can see all his grades back to kindergarten. Lots of Cs, Ds and Fs. I mean lots of them, including in classes taught by other teachers attending the meeting.
Self-delusion? Straight-out lie? Who knows.
Marc W
10. Playground property law.
A few years ago I went to a local playground with my oldest daughter who was about three years old at that time. She was playing on the little monkey bars as I was sitting on a bench and watching her. During these couple of hours, other kids came and went with their parents.
At one point there was a mother sitting down almost in front of me with her toddler son and they started to play with plastic sand toys. Another toddler, about 2.5 years old came over to them and sat down and grabbed one of the toys and started to play with them as well while his mom sat and watched him from across the playground.
As this first toddler realized that another toddler is playing with his toys, he stood up and started hitting this second kid and took back his toy. The mom simply looked up smiling and proudly said:
He is just defending his property!
Peter M
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11. Yeah, that’s some great advice there.
A neighbours son and my daughter went to the same small preschool and were in the same class. Her son was known to hit and had bad temper. I dont think my daughter played with him at all but its a small group of 23 year olds playing in a small outdoor area in the preschool every day. Kids at that age usually do parallel play, meaning no direct interaction like in pretend play.
One day, he allegedly hit my daughter. When I told the mother about it, she said, If you dont want your daughter to be hit, tell her not to play with my son.
It reminded me of some parents of high school bullies who would say things like If you dont want a bully to bully you, stop playing with the bully.
Thats not the worst part of the parenting. Teachers often reported the violent tantrum incidents to the parents. After many reports, my neighbour pulled her son out of that preschool and told everyone that they wanted a different school because, The teachers complain about my sons tantrums too much, but dont know how to do their job teaching my son to behave.
Pamela L
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12. The school of hard knocks.
As the Head of a school in London, many years ago, I was astounded by one parents complete unwillingness to take any responsibility for her actions.
The previous afternoon, after school, this particular mother was chatting with her friends at the school gate and not watching her child. Her child was a very, very lively and active boy of 7 who, she contended, should be allowed to do whatever he wanted and should not have to follow rules or be guided in any way.
Alas, the child ran out into the road and was hit by a car (thankfully the car was going VERY slowly and was driven by another parent at the school). The driver contacted me that evening to let me know what had happened and to let me know that the child had no injuries other than a scrape.
When the childs mother asked to see me first thing the next morning, I thought it was to reassure me that her child was fine and to say that she would be more alert and responsible in future. No. The mother informed me that the accident was my fault (OUT of the school grounds, AFTER school was finished, WHILST the child was with his mother) – she asserted that if I ran a better school (one of the top performing schools in London at the time), then her child would be so satisfied that he would wait patiently by her side and wouldn’t have run into the road!
Grainne O