People Share The Meanest Thing They’ve Ever Done That They Don’t Regret At All.

My English teacher, however, didn’t buy it. She insisted I was cheating, and every time we had to take a test, she would isolate me from the others “so that I wouldn’t copy them” (which made no sense since the others were barely passing the class). She was openly hostile to me at any given chance, be it during class or in the halls.

At one point she actually started yelling at me in the middle of class. It was horrible, and I finally asked what she had against me. She told me, “You want me to believe you already speak English when that’s an obvious lie! You’re Black! Your father is Black! You people are not smart enough to speak two languages!”

The whole class went silent, which made my [insert vulgar insult] sound incredibly loud. I stomped out of the classroom to call my parents. It didn’t dawn on me what I did until the next day when all my classmates were fussing over me, since it was the first time they heard my nerdy, quiet self utter a rude word.

Anzae

27. He forgot that they knew where he lived.

When I was younger a friend and I were walking around the neighborhood looking to do yard work for money. A middle aged guy with an overgrown front yard took us up on our offer when we knocked on his door, and told us that he wanted his lawn mowed, edges trimmed, and his bushes trimmed. We did a great job, and after the better part of two hours we knocked again to collect the $15 we had agreed upon, except he didn’t answer the door.

He hadn’t left, his car in the driveway was evidence of that. We tried the back door, we tried the side garage door, and we even went home for a glass of water and took a break before going back and knocking again. When I say “knocked”, I mean making an absurd amount of noise on just about every exterior surface of this man’s house. We could hear the TV on inside too. At this point it became clear that he was attempting to scam us out of our work. His doors were all locked, we could hear him inside, and he wasn’t coming out.

Well, being the vengeful 14-year-olds that we were, we walked to the hardware store and used some of the money we earned later that day to purchase road salt. A LARGE QUANTITY OF SALT. Late that night we visited his house and generously salted every living plant in the yard, and used a fertilizer spreader to evenly salt his front lawn. We killed this man’s entire front yard. For the rest of the year his yard was a very visible brown wasteland in an otherwise lush green neighborhood.

EKS916

26. She was asking for it.

My now husband’s ex was a little unhinged. We posted pictures of a dog we were planning on adopting. Lo and behold, ex-girlfriend adopts said dog within 24 hours. A few weeks later she posts a video of her blowing smoke in the dog’s face and calling him stoner puppy. The dog was yelping and whining in the video.

So I copied the video to the shelter she got it from and soon she had no dog and was on probation. I guess animal control came with police officers and found a lot of goodies! No regrets.

Butterbell

25. Don’t mess with IT “peasants”.

Worked at a University in IT department. Noticed that one of the processes on a shared compute cluster was going nuts. It was stuck in a loop and sending thousands of error emails to a non-existing addresses, causing bounces and more emails. Went to investigate and it was a broken script ran by one of our Computer Science students.

So I email the guy and politely ask him to stop the process and fix the script. This cocky guy replied basically with, “I am a computer science student and you are an IT support peasant. My script is fine. Mind your own business.” That was a terrible idea on his part. Terrible.

So I went and changed his script to send emails to him, his TA and his professor instead and restarted the process under root user, meaning he had 0 ability to stop it.

All 3 of them received about 40,000 emails each within an hour. He was at my office door apologizing and begging me to stop it. Icing on the cake was the fact that our webmail interface only allowed deleting 50 emails at a time. He ended up having to clear all that BS from TA and prof’s mailboxes too. He was at it for 3 straight days.

Screw that guy.

solefald

24. Sorry not sorry.

In high school my “friend” slept with my boyfriend. To get my silent revenge, I was working on the high school yearbook committee and photoshopped her senior picture with yellow teeth, frizzy hair, dark circles under her eyes, etc. I made sure it wasn’t so obvious, but just enough to notice.

MyCollegeThoughts

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23. That’s what happens when you don’t extend the olive branch.

My neighbor’s tree had large limbs which overhung our driveway – enough to cover both cars with sap and debris (a very messy tree).

I asked him a number of times to trim it back to his side because it made a mess of our cars and driveway – a request he ignored.

Finally, I called the tree-trimming company and had all the tree limbs removed which were overhanging our side.

He was livid! I was not.

Back2Bach

22. Well, at least she learned from her mistakes.

When I was a youngin’, my first girlfriend had dumped me without a word. She just stopped talking and answering phone calls, which you know, sure. This was high school days. I was hurt, and it was causing a rift in friends. I just wanted to know why the cold wall of silence as she quite literally just started pretending I didn’t exist.

So I get this email from her detailing how much she’d had sex with all of these other guys and moved on from me and how she faked all these orgasms; just really spiteful stuff and it came out of the blue.

So I forwarded to everyone we knew, including her mother.

I just didn’t see the point of being overly cruel on a breakup, but I also didn’t see the point of just absorbing it without teaching her a lesson.

I found out years later she was a pathological liar. Made up everything in that letter. Forwarding that letter helped her admit to her tendency to lie. Interesting world.

utricularian

21. World’s worst landlord.

Well my landlord saw my syringes for my diabetes and got into a loud, blood boiling argument with me over the “obvious” drug use that those represented. After I shoved insulin prescriptions in his face, following several threats to call the cops to have me locked up and my dogs that I pay pet rent for euthanized, he left.

Well, following this, I noticed he always left apartments he was unlocked. Toward the end of my lease I would sneak in and leave lovely notes on the fridge such as “ask about the bed bugs!” and “now twenty percent cockroach free!”

I was never accused of anything from doing it but several occasions when he’d come out cussing to himself followed by confused prospective tenants I’d catch his eye and give him a little smirk and a nod.

ThatCrazyManDude

20. Closet revenge.

In seventh grade we had to take choir or band. I picked choir but the teacher was a complete jerk. I have an awful voice so I just chose to pretend like I was singing. No harm no foul.

One day she turned on the classroom fan and a ton of dust fell on us. I let out an enormous burst of sneezes and she lost her damn mind. Said something to the effect of I never participate but am now disrupting the class with my sneezing.

She put me in this storage closet and turned out the lights. There was a computer in the back of this closet and I fired it up. There was all her choir music and class files. Formatted the drive.

Mestupsh0w0ff

19. Don’t worry, it’s on Ben.

My sister was an 18-year-old college freshman when she started dating this bag of jerk named Ben. He was 32, did meth, was a deadbeat dad and lived close to campus so he could prey on college girls more conveniently.

I was 16 and went to visit my sister. I noticed her new futon that my parents had just bought her was missing from her dorm room. I asked her where it went and she told me Ben stole it one day while she was in class. He claimed he took it because she hung out at his house so often and needed to “contribute to the house.” My sister was kind of a pushover and didn’t fight for it.

That night we went to a party at Ben’s house and everyone was wasted except me. I went into Ben’s room to use the attached bathroom and noticed a roll of 20s sticking out from underneath a sweater on his dresser. I took $260 and tucked it in my back pocket.

We stayed the night there, and were awoken to Ben flipping out about the missing cash. Still with it tucked in my pocket, we helped him look for it for almost an hour. As soon as my sister and I got back to her dorm, I gave her the cash and told her we were going couch shopping.

FlyLesbianSeagull

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18. Sorry to interrupt, but…

I was standing on a crowded train, mid-summer. It was so packed people had opened the toilet door to stand in there too. It was one of those big circular Virgin train toilets.

Anyway a girl came and asked if we could move out so she could use the toilet, We said of course, sorry, (being British), and she and her friend went in together. Weird, I thought.

It was super-crammed before we opened the door, now it was almost hard to breathe.

A minute later of being too crammed, I smell cigarette smoke.

As luck would have it, the guard was walking past (or at least very slowly squeezing himself through us), anyhow I discretely pressed the “open door” button behind me.

I can’t believe they hadn’t locked it…

The slow rotation of the door and the look on their faces as they frantically tried to hide the cigarette and stop the door opening was just perfect.

The relief of being able to stand and not rub against anyone, the opening of the outside train doors to fresh air at the station… extra perfect sweet relief. As they were booted off and the train rolled away, I made no eye contact, no one knew it was me.

I don’t regret it.

Cockwombles

17. What goes around comes around.

Was walking through a car park with a friend to get to the shops. Some guy’s dog was running about while he was calling it and it wasn’t listening and it ran up to us. I figured the dog was just misbehaving a little bit so I grabbed its collar and stroked while the guy came over.

When he got there I walked off and he didn’t even say thank you and then I heard a little thump, and the dog yelp. I turned around to see that the guy had lifted the dog up by the throat and thrown him back down on his back.

I ran over to him and landed a huge punch on his jaw and knocked him on his ass. He was in shock and just sat there for a few minutes while I called an animal shelter and comforted the dog. The guy was crying when they got there and I let them take the dog as the police arrived. They asked me what happened and then arrested the guy and gave me a slap on the wrist. Didn’t feel a single bit of remorse.

MidnightSage

16. Just doing her dog-diligence as a neighbor.

My parent’s neighbor was a really cool guy with two dogs. One was the sweetest dog ever, the other was a jerk.

He’d leave them outside all the time, sometimes with enough food and water sometimes not. He worked four days on three days off, so was gone for long stretches of time.

Well about four years ago I showed up for Christmas at my parent’s house and it was freezing, and this dude’s dogs were outside. I was livid.

So I called animal control on Christmas Eve and they came and took the dogs.

Except, they only took one, the mean one. I stole the other one.

Lobo was the best. RIP buddy.

Austinr4r

15. Life’s a beach.

When I was 6, I went to the beach with my nan. It was a gorgeous day, as little-me began innocently making an amazing, groundbreaking, metalcore sandcastle.

Lo and behold, this little, salty nrat trots up to me, and says, “Hi”, to catch my attention. I’m kneeling down, so as I look up at her, she kicks a big wad of sand in my face, of course getting completely into my eyes.

I run off to my concerned nan, who began wiping my face, asking what was wrong in her usual, loving and kind way. Once I finally explain to her what happens, her face changes into a darker, more callous nan.

She looks me straight in the eye and says, “Well. Go find her and kick sand back into her face. Do it.”

I see the sea-jerk, now smugly building her sand castle. I was always a timid child, but now was my time. I saunter up to her, stealthier than Big Boss and say, “Hi”. With a sandy hint of irony, she looks up at me, roles reverse.

I take a huge swing of my tiny leg, and see the fear and regret in her eyes as she preempts her demise. Her eyes widen in horror, she begins to shake her head, “No, I’m sorry!”

Too late, jerk.

Sand was kicked, tears were shed. I’m pretty sure an explosion went off behind me as I strutted back to my proud grandmother.

mollypop94

14. Sorry, Blake. Guess you couldn’t handle the heat.

One time at my big family reunion we had family from all over to eat at our house. I had a cousin named Blake and I heard him bragging at the dinner table that the hot sauce he was using for his food was “weak” or how he could handle any hot sauce.

So in my 12-year-old mind a lightbulb went off in my head. “Let me go get that atomic hot sauce in the fridge.”

It’s more of gag gift because half a teaspoon and you’re royally screwed. A mere teaspoon will do you in. He proceeds to dunk his whole fried chicken wing in the sauce. For the next twenty minutes, there was lots of screaming and freaking out and little me was dying with laughter looking like a little brat in front of the whole family with veins popping out of my head.

Worth it.

Kdizzle206

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13. “Never mess with people who are under the influence.”

I was at a friends small gathering where there was plenty of alcohol and weed. One of my close friends decided that he was going to get high for the first time. I was excited to see how his first experience turned out.

He smoked a lot – too much. If you’ve ever smoked weed before, you know how crazy your first time is. Now imagine smoking four bowls out of a glass bong your first time. I chose to not get high after he smoked just to keep him under control. Wouldn’t want things to get out of hand, so I stayed sober.

Started off standard. He was shaking and was sunken into the sofa eating Doritos. One of our friends, who had never smoked/drank before decided to mess with him. Basically he kept throwing this ball at his head, was handing him and pretty much forcing down beverages he didn’t even remotely like.

I consistently told this guy to stop, and that he has no idea how paranoid this’ll make him. Poor kid ended up covering himself with a blanket and sat on the beanbag. I went to go chat with some other people, since my friend looked to be falling asleep and was fine. I went to go inside and grab some more drinks. When I come out I find my friend in the pool, with all his good clothes, and his phone, barely staying afloat. I ask how the heck he got his himself from the beanbag to the pool and everyone tells me that the annoying kid pushed him in as a “joke.”

I proceed to walk over to this kid, hit him as hard as I can right in the nose and push him right in the pool. As he was holding his phone, and was drinking a beer. He ended up leaving early.

Don’t regret it to this day, never mess with people that are under the influence.

iAMA_Leb_AMA

12. Ruthless.

There was a guy in my neighborhood who used to seriously tailgate me with his giant truck (complete with truck nuts) while riding on the streets in the subdivision to get to my house. He lived down a few streets from me but we still took a few of the same turns. He would always ride my behind to the point that I couldn’t even see his hood. Despite going over the speed limit and brake checking.

So I found out where he worked. Slashed all his tires. Coincidentally, he’s backed off a bit.

Feels good man.

Hesayswhat

11. That’s one way to expedite things.

When my ex fiance and I broke up, I found her at another guy’s house a week later. I didn’t even have my stuff out of her house yet.

So the next day, I drove to her house, took my TV, game consoles, pretty much everything of mine from the house. Everything! Cleaning supplies, towels, anything that I remembered buying. But I just left when I was done. Where the TV was only wires. Didn’t clean up anything. Just left it.

If she wanted me out of her life that quick, well, she can deal with the consequences.

Darksoft125

10. Sucker.

We were on vacation with another family. They were handing out tootsie pops, and I asked for a blue one because it was my favorite color. The other mom, who didn’t like me, purposely gave blue tootsie pops to all her children first, so that there were none left for me. I asked one of them to trade, and they said sure.

So I am licking my blue tootsie pop, and I see her making a beeline toward me and yelling, “That was so-and so’s sucker, give it back!”

So I turn and take the hugest bite of the tootsie pop before she smacks me and steals the remainder. I was only about 7 at the time, first real memory of openly disobeying an adult like that.

Screw her.

Syscallgrl

9. Happy Holidays!

Left a girlfriend in North Carolina (I’m from the northeast). After she chewed through all my savings without getting a job, I went back home for Christmas and never went back.

Chad_Bro_Chill67

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8. This round’s on me, guys. You deserve it.

One time I was at a bar and a awful metal band was playing awful music and they were being awful people with their stage banter. So I sent five shot glasses filled with water to the stage.

Twistedbeats

7. An eye for an eye.

Was at a pub with a friend who’d gotten up to go to the bathroom. He had his drink on the table. Three very catty girls came upstairs, and while I was sitting at the table, they just grabbed his chair and walked off with it, didn’t ask or acknowledge anyone else at all.

I made eye contact with this long haired biker-looking dude at the table next to me. He knew, and I knew… something had to be done.

I walked up to their table, grabbed two of their drinks without asking while they were mid conversation, and walked back to my table. One got all pissed and came over… at which point the biker dude took her chair and brought it back to our table.

At this point my friend came back to the table. The girl saw him, and backed off while he sat down, but was still complaining. At this point, I was about to give the drinks back to get her to shut up and go away, until the biker dude got up, came over to our table, picked up both drinks, chugged them, then smiled and walked off.

Fattiefalldown

6. No one should ever have to go through that.

In college I moved in with some friends to a house off campus. I guess because girls can’t live in a group of girls without picking on one, I became their victim. They did a lot of hurtful things. One of the girls and I had our birthdays on the same day. They threw a party and I thanked them…to which they replied the party was only for the other roommate, not me.

They banged pots and pans and screamed outside of my room all night when they knew I had a major exam the next day. Basically they just bullied me in every way possible. It got bad enough that the week before my brother’s wedding I got so sick and I was too weak to drive myself to the doctor.

I had lost 6 pounds in a few days. I literally had to crawl downstairs and asked if one of them could please drive me to the hospital. They refused, so my parents had to come from two hours away to take me to the hospital.

Shortly after that I moved out. And when I did, I scrubbed the toilet with their toothbrushes, spit in their milk, poured salt in all their bottles of alcohol, and my personal favorite, I put one of my dog’s turds under a girl’s mattress. Not one bit of remorse felt.

Brontosaurusus86

5. Ahhh, sweet, double-stuffed revenge.

Some jerk in second grade tripped me. I stole his double stuffed Oreos. Revenge tastes lovely.

Dahki

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4. Mmmmm, fresh out the oven!

If customers are rude on the phone, I “forget” to close the hot bag and drive with my A/C on high.

I am a pizza delivery guy for context.

MoistWalrus

3. So that’s why they call it eau de “toilet”.

I’ll tell a story for my uncle. He was a mischievous guy.

When he was in his 20s he shared an apartment with roommates like most of us do. He had this one roommate who would always eat everyone elses food and constantly use their stuff.

Occasionally my uncle would call him out on it. “Hey did you finish my milk?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Stuff like that.

Anyway, while his roommate was out my uncle thought it would be a good idea if he took his cologne and pissed in it.

A few nights later all the roommates are going out and dick springs out of the bathroom.

“Ah boys, Im smelling good!”

All the roommates are dying on the inside trying to keep it together as the roommate parades around the flat smelling beautiful with my uncle’s piss on his neck.

My uncle definitely did not regret that, he loves telling that story.

Blueberrypie8

2. Now he’s just some bunny that you used to know.

I stole someone’s pet rabbit. I went to a party and the guys who lived there kept her in a tiny cage meant for hamsters and blew weed smoke at her face all the time. They never gave her veggies, instead they were feeding her wet cat food so she was super malnourished.

My friend created a diversion and I grabbed the cage and booked it to the car. I took her to the vet and they kept her for two weeks to get her back to normal. She was apparently seizing from the withdrawal combined with dehydration. She was also incredibly mean, due to the abuse.

The vet said there was evidence of prior broken bones that had never been healed. The dudes who owned her had no idea who took her and were posting pleas on Myspace to give her back.

Fat chance! She required intense care, so I gave her to our vet tech who was also our petsitter because I couldn’t take care of her the way she required. I don’t feel bad about the theft (bunny-napping?) for a second.

Sweetrhymepurereason