Just because our parents our older than us, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re wiser. Here, baffled people share something their parents believed that turned out to be completely false.
1. Tampons are not to be used by girls because they will make you a non-virgin and no man will ever marry a non-virgin.
2. My mom and stepdad believed the apocalypse was approaching, and that the world would end by 1996. We moved to the middle of nowhere and we (the kids) were home-schooled. We canned our own food and grew all of our crops. We read the bible all the time. We had electricity, but we didn’t use it a whole lot. We mostly used oil lamps to light our house. We hunted for meat. We were taught that any moment, agents from the federal government (sent by President Clinton) would come to our door to take our guns and force us kids to return to public school, where we’d be taught evolution and other government lies. We were completely cut off from the rest of the world. No TV, no non-Christian music. No sports, no friends, other than a few other extreme survivalist types.
We went to meetings where prophets would speak to us and tell us what God had told them. I remember one fellow had a map of the USA and he put little mushroom cloud stickers on all the sites that President Clinton was gonna allow to be hit with nuclear bombs, most of the east and west coasts, and a few big inland cities like Chicago, Minneapolis, and Phoenix.
We had been taught the “Tribulation” (the catastrophic events wrought by God to destroy the Earth) would begin before the “Rapture” (an event that would instantly teleport all true Christians into heaven, leaving behind the non-believers to suffer as the world ended).
I lived in constant fear as a 9-year-old. I’d wake up at 2 AM and run into my mom’s room to make sure she and my step dad were still there, and that I hadn’t been left behind. I woke up one morning and they had gone to the neighbor’s house for something, and I didn’t know where they were. I collapsed in a heap in my bedroom and begged God to please forgive whatever I had done to be left behind and to please kill me and not force me to suffer through the Tribulation. I was so terrified when I heard the front door open because I figured it was federal agents. But nope, it was just my mom, coming home. I hugged her, crying and telling her what I thought had happened.
This is how we lived. Just work, all day, every day, from sunup ’til sundown.
As soon as my brother was old enough to choose, he called my dad and asked to file for custody of us and we told the judge we wanted to go with my dad.
Ramza_Claus
3. That people open bags of chips in the store, poison them, and then reseal them. No one does that, mother.
Seryne
4. My mom was convinced that Tiger Woods was Oprah’s son.
Heisenberg815
5. In the 80s my mother and father heard of a game for the Atari 2600 called “Dungeons & Dragons” and it was possessing children who played it.
They heard that you would become locked in a trance, staring at the screen and you would have a death grip on the controller and no one else could separate your hand from it.
And the power plug for the Atari would be magically bound to the plug in on the wall and no one could unplug it.
Boardgamejoe
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6. My mom legitimately thought that Albert Einstein invented math.
MarkNuttsLeftNut
7. That with determination and persistence, you can walk into a hospital or law firm and get a job as a professional in those practises without any prior related education or experience.
Seikon32
8. Anyone who does anything that involves putting something in their mouth (smoking, chewing gum), do so because they were not breastfed as a child and need to make up for a childhood of not having something in your mouth.
Every cigarette smoker and gum chewer in the world was never breastfed. She was absolutely perplexed the day I came home chewing gum.
“Spit that out. You were breastfed!”
bogidyboy
9. My mother wouldn’t let us drink water right after we took any liquid medicines – she thought it would dilute them.
Hippocampus237
10. My parents believe that maggots are spontaneously generated. They refuse to believe that they’re just fly babies. They think that with enough scum and icky-ness, a load of maggots will spontaneously appear.
They also think it’s gay for men to groom themselves and treat themselves. They’re just mad my eyebrows are great and my hair looks awesome.
FadedAsAHabit
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11. “This smelly horrible tasting soup is good for you although I don’t have any credible information to back this up.”
My fellow Asians will understand.
Chijh
12. My dad would and still does use a “light year” as a measure of time. For example, “We’ve been waiting on you for a light year. Hurry up!”
Applesnapple123
13. told my mom once that 99% of all species that once existed on earth are now extinct. Mom said, “Yeah, it’s because everyone is fishing them all out.”
[deleted]
14. That the garbagemen are all kidnappers and rapists. When you hear the garbage truck come around, run for your life.
Digifuzz
15. That the average stranger is not only going to steal my stuff, but kidnap and murder me. I understand being protective, but I can’t even go biking through my own neighborhood.
Gadaren
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16. My mom thought that the word “stealthy” meant strong because of the B-2 Stealth Bomber airplane… I know this makes no sense at all but it’s my mom.
First came up when she said to me one day “Wow you’re looking very stealthy, have you been working out?”
I was like wait… Do I NOT know the meaning of stealthy??
MorrisMotion
17. My mother freaks OUT when we pass a truck. She thinks the car can be sucked under the 18-wheelers trailer. My father is awesome and always acts like it’s pulling the car in, then he saves the day. My mom still thinks that it is possible.
Doneski
18. That if you have a nosebleed you should put your head as far back as possible. When I was a child, I had lots of nosebleeds and had to endure that gross feeling of blood going down the back of the throat.
Then I read a first aid book…and learned the truth, which is that a nosebleed will go away in five minutes if you pinch your nose and keep your head level.
Also, when it stops, put some Vaseline in the nostril, it will prevent a re-bleed.
[deleted]
19. My mother believes that it is a fact that women who enjoy sex have baby girls and women who don’t enjoy the sex have boys.
Not only is this a wives tale but she has it reversed. The women who enjoy sex have boys according to the myth.
I actually got into an argument about it with her. She insisted it was scientific fact.
CrochetCrazy
20. My mom made a paste out of baking soda and a little bit of water and thought it would cure my sore throat. She would put it on her finger and rub my tonsils with it until I sometimes puked. She also thought that minced onion in your stuffy nose will clear it all up… You just have to endure the intense burning for a few moments.
Yea, I hated being sick as a child.
Arn6491
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21. People put razor blades in apples at Halloween, and otherwise tampered with candy. Was all urban legend. Even as a kid, I knew it would be pretty easy to trace it back to the house it came from. I should mention that it was the early 70s when I was trick or treating, before this became a big scare.
Treelovingaytheist
22. That it’s alright to try and turn your children against the other parent during and after your breakup. Love should never be a weapon.
hedonometer
23. My dad insists it’s pronounced “Steinfeld”, despite the obvious lack of the letter ‘t’ absolutely anywhere in Jerry’s name.
That’s obviously not correct.
Reddit_user
24. That if you swallowed a watermelon seed a watermelon vine would grow from your bellybutton. I am 100% sure this is incorrect.
Proteon
25. My father always laments the invention of gas engines, saying how much better life would be if we had stuck with steam engines since “we would just have to fill our cars up with water!”
Sorry, dad. I know you mean well, but steam engines don’t work like that.
Had to break it to him over the summer and he looked crushed that he had gone on saying this for so long.
Dancressman
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26. Not my parents but my grandma believes lightning bolts can get through the house mirrors. She covers all the mirrors in her house with blankets when there’s a storm.
Blackaman
27. My parents DID NOT believe that there’s such a thing as Light Pollution. When I first mentioned this to them they thought I was joking. They still do..
Cool_samurai_kid
28. My parents are like many middle-aged folk.
They complain about every cent “the government” gets from them.
I’m like, “Where do you think roads and hospitals come from?”
Their response: “Wow, you sure love the government, don’t you?”
Nope, I just understand taxation a bit better and I enjoy my public services.
Mysta02
29. It’s hard to sum up in a sentence, but easy to depict in one conversation straight from the real world:
“Mom, can I borrow your cell phone? I’m going to a friend’s birthday party tonight.” (Yeah this happened a lot of years ago.)
“Who’s the friend?”
“Just this girl I know from the internet.”
“The Internet! How do you know she’s a girl then!?”
“I’ve talked to her for like a year, mom.”
“It could be anyone! It could be a pedophile posing as a girl to lure you in!”
“Mom, I’m 18. I have a beard. She’s not a pedophile.”
“Yeah? But you could still get kidnapped! I’ve read about these things!”
“Look, I know her pretty well, she’s a 16 year old lesbian and she’s not going to kidnap, rape, or murder me.”
“Well, okay then… but only because I know you’re trained in karate.”
SippantheSwede
30. My mother has weird medical theories. She thinks walnuts are good for the lungs, because they look like lungs. And that farting can help cure vertigo.
Joec_95123