1. Better to drown children than let them read ‘homosexual’ Harry Potter, says extreme right-wing pastor.
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2. Parents force 14-year-old to live in woods after eating Pop Tart.
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3. NSA chief: I didnt lie to Congress about spying on millions of AmericansI just forgot about it
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4. Female-named hurricanes kill more than male hurricanes because people dont respect them, study finds.
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5. Chlamydia rampant at Texas abstinence-only high school.
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6. Egypt pyramids for grain not pharaohs: presidential hopeful Carson.
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7. Kim Jong-un claims to have cured Aids, Ebola and cancer with single miracle drug.
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8. Donald Trump: ‘I keep whining and whining until I win.’
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9. Meerkat-keeper guilty of assaulting monkey-keeper over love triangle with llama-keeper.
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10. We dont need to drink less soda, according to research funded by Coca-Cola.
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11. McDonalds, Unable to Fix Its Dismal Monthly Sales Numbers, Will Now Just Stop Sharing Them.
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12. Police called after men dressed as traffic cones block road.
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13. No Liquid Allowed in Carry On, Woman Drinks Entire Bottle of Cognac at Beijing Airport Security.
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14. Police called to meeting of beard fans in Sweden after passer-by confuses them with Isis terrorists.
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15. Florida candidate for U.S. Senate admits to sacrificing goat, drinking its blood.
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16. Student accused of being a terrorist for reading book on terrorism.
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17. NYC nears record for rat complaints: “I’ve seen rats walking upright, saying, ‘Good morning.'”
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18. Study about butter, funded by butter industry, finds that butter is bad for you.
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19. Uzbek farmers told to glue cotton back on bushes ahead of state trip.
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20. Pastor Sells Holy Pens That Make Students Pass Exams Without Studying, Claims The More You Pay The More You Pass.
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21. Darth Vader statue replaces Lenin monument in Ukraine.
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22. Woman gets pregnant 13 times in 10 years to avoid jail sentence.
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