People Share The Biggest Lie They’ve Ever Been Told

Oh Baby!

“My crazy ex-girlfriend tried to convince me she was pregnant.

I had been with her for about two months. She started becoming very suspicious of me and I found out she was going through my phone (probably while I was asleep) because I didn’t have a passcode on it.

She would read my conversations and finally when she thought she had some dirt on me she hit me with, ‘Well who’s Rebecca and why are you planning to meet with her?!’

I responded, ‘If you’d read more of the conversation you’d see that I was planning on having lunch with her and her fiancé. If I was cheating on you, don’t you think I’d at least have a passcode on my phone? But you know what, we should slow down.’

Fast forward a week and she showed me her sonogram. All of a sudden, she’s pregnant. I knew it wasn’t hers. I decided to go along with it so I changed my tone and become super supportive and involved. I told her I wanted to go with her to the first appointment. She told me I didn’t have to go and her mom would go with her.

I waited it out and another week or so passed by and she ‘lost the baby.’

I told her she needed to get out because I was done.”

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Cheater, Cheater Girlfriend Stealer

“To this day, my ex-girlfriend insists that she wasn’t cheating.

She was lying to me about where she was, saying that she was out with friends when she was out with him. I worked midnights and she spent most of her time with him while I was asleep and got back before I woke up.

They’d wait until his wife went to work (just after I went to sleep for the day) and she’d go pick up his unemployed butt to do their thing, making sure to get him home before his wife got back so that the wife would never know.

She started pulling away from me emotionally and physically. I eventually caught them out together when she told me she was somewhere else.

When I confronted her with all of this, she insisted that she wasn’t cheating on me. But she also didn’t want me anymore, after seven years together and being recently engaged, and was going to start dating him instead.

Uh, huh. Sure. You totally weren’t cheating and coincidentally are leaving me immediately for the guy who you secretly have been meeting with but aren’t cheating on me with.

Whatever.”

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This Girl Is Nothing But Trouble Behind The Wheel

“A friend of mine, who is obese, asked me to help her lose weight as I had lost 35 pounds and got pretty toned.

I met her at the gym and, of course, we got nothing done because she thinks everyone was watching her (no one was) and she didn’t want to try anything I tell her to do because she thought the second she picked up anything she’d ‘get extremely muscular and look like a man.’

Obviously, I was frustrated and she offered to drive me home (as I jogged to the gym) as a way to make it up to me for not doing anything for 2 and half hours. I accepted.

I noticed she was a bad driver and brought up the fact after she ran a stop sign. This is where I get the bull. She told me, ‘You can drive through a stop sign/red light as long as there aren’t any cars around.’ Right before we got to my house, she blew through an intersection and we got T-boned. No slow motion or life flashing before my eyes. I saw the huge White Ford Expedition coming right at me (hit my door). I saw my phone fly out the window. The Ford slamming into us launched us towards the sidewalk where we hit a parked Kia.

There was a lot of smoke coming from the engine, my door was stuck and I ended up having to throw myself into the back seat and crawl out that door as my whole right side hurt so bad (none of the airbags opened on my side).

She was having a panic attack because ding ding ding, she didn’t have a license nor was she on insurance.

The EMTs completely ignored me, they checked her out instead, then they loaded up the driver of the Ford and left.

I was bleeding a little from my head, my entire right side hurt like heck, and they didn’t even check me out. They just left. The cops on the scene were baffled.

My friend’s parents arrived and they were freaking out because they had to tell the cops that either their daughter stole the car or that they gave her permission to drive the car without a license.

I gave the cops my info and then limped home, got in my car, and drove myself to the hospital.

So anyways, don’t drive through intersections if you have the red light. And even when green. Always look both ways before you start moving.”

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Lucky To Escape The Relationship Alive

“I started dating this woman while I lived in the dorms in college. Let’s call her ‘Sarah.’

Sarah was incredibly smart, had an awesome body, and some of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. She also had a cute little pitbull that was just 4 weeks old. Her dad had an excellent military career and kept working for the government after he retired as a 1 star admiral. He ended up getting her an internship and eventual job as a criminal psychologist for the FBI. So she had a nice house and a truck.

We started seeing each other for a few weeks and she told me that she lives with her brother and watches his house when he goes on deployments (he is in the air force). She was nervous to introduce me at first, so we normally went on dates and hung out at her place when he wasn’t home. But she was amazing. She was so funny and we clicked very well. She had on-call hours for her job, so she would often disappear or have to leave at a moments notice. But other than that, everything was great. After a couple months, he went on deployment and we spent the next 9 months living our relationship and I essentially moved into their house. There were a lot of family photos of her and her brother scattered throughout the house. They seemed pretty close and I was kind of bummed that she didn’t introduce me to him.

One day, she disappeared for like four or five days. I asked her friends if she was okay and they said she was fine. She called me from her friend’s phone and said everything was fine but her phone wasn’t working. So I ended up going to her house the next evening after I finished work and at the same time that I get there, I saw her car pulling up. I noticed she wasn’t alone. A rugged old man, at least in his 50s, and a middle-aged woman I presumed to be his wife stepped out of the vehicle. Then Sarah and a huge 6 ft+ muscular guy got out of the back seat. I was so mad/confused at this point, I just ran up to her and confronted her on the spot. This dude was even bigger up close and I honestly felt a little afraid. She acted like she had no idea who I was and looked at me like I was some wandering addict. Wow. The dude’s body language started to get more aggressive so I left and went home to reflect on what I just saw.

A few days later, Sarah called me acting like nothing happened. I told her what happened and she tried to tell me that it was her twin sister whom she hadn’t spoken a word of in the entire year we were dating. I later found out that this man was her HUSBAND, the same person who is her ‘brother in the air force.’

Clearly, this girl was a psychopath. I am lucky to escape that relationship alive and without kids.”

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“I Have Nothing More To Say”

“About 2.5 years ago, my biological mother (aka Biomom) tried denying that she ever emailed my ex (Context: I had requested nobody email my ex. My biomom did, and my ex lit up my phone for four hours telling me somebody in my family sent her a nasty email. It was a lot of drama, but I digress).

I told mom I’d like to talk about it. She denied having emailed. I told her I have the email. She said my ex forged it. I told her she didn’t, as the language/voice was that of Biomom’s, the font was the same, the signature the same, and that the email included information from my childhood that my ex and I had never spoken about. The email’s headers regarding mail servers also appeared to be in order.

Biomom then triple downs. She said that somebody must have hacked her Yahoo! account and sent the email and that the hacker must have found information about my pre-internet childhood on the internet.

‘So your official story,

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It’s Much Easier To Tell The Truth

“Me: ‘Did you copy this homework off of someone else’s, a leaked answer key, or do it yourself?’

Student: ‘I did it myself.’

Me: ‘Are you sure that’s your final answer?’

Student: ‘Yes, I did it myself.’

Me: ‘Do you think I would be asking you this question if I didn’t know for sure that you had copied this?’

Student: ‘Uhhhhh…’

Me: ‘So just as an FYI all your answers are wrong. They are however almost perfectly correct for equipment we haven’t used in 3 years. Equipment you’ve never even seen, let alone used, or even had a manual for. Except for one question in which your answer contains a small, but significant, typo. It’s the exact same typo that I made when I wrote the answer key years and years ago. So I’m going to ask you again: Did you or did you not copy this homework?’

Student: ‘I did it myself.’

Too bad his dad donated a lot of money to the school so he was basically untouchable.”

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Being Friends With A Liar Wasn’t A Total Loss

“The summer I turned 21, I started hanging out with this girl whose parents lived right down the street from my parents’ house. We’d gone to school together and lived a block apart our entire lives but hadn’t ever hung out before. That summer, as we started going out to local bars together, we became inseparable. We will call her Sandy. Sandy became my best friend right away and part of the reason we bonded was because we were both adopted.

Unfortunately, she went to college a few hours away so toward the end of the summer, she introduced me to some of her college friends online because we already had plans for me to come to visit her at school.

One of her best friends was a really cute guy so we got to talking online and hit it off right away, and then he said something like, ‘So if you’re Sandy’s neighbor that means you must live in a pretty nice house too, right?’ I was confused. We lived in the suburbs, the houses were okay but nothing special, so I asked him what he meant. He tells me that Sandy has been telling everyone at college that she lives in a mansion and her next door neighbors are Bam Margera and Christina Aguilera. Sandy has everyone convinced that her dad is a millionaire and owns two Lamborghinis. Sandy was a freaking liar. The more we talked, the more lies we uncovered. This girl was absolutely insane.

Naturally, I was upset over this news so I talk to our mutual friend, who is also from the same neighborhood, about these lies Sandy has told. Somehow during our chat, I mention the fact that we are both adopted. I tell her how I still feel a bond with Sandy because we both have some identity issues from not knowing any biological family. A mutual friend started laughing and told the truth.

Sandy was raised by her biological father’s parents because he passed away when she was still a baby. Her ‘adoptive parents’ were, in fact, her biological grandparents. It was all a freaking lie.

Needless to say, my friendship with Sandy ended right then and there.

Fast forward almost a decade, her college friend and I finally met in person after years of friendship, have now been together for 5 years, we’re buying a house next week and are getting married in February. Thanks, Sandy!”

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Not As Put Together As He Seemed

“I was 22 and a single, a lonely mom of one. I met someone who was charismatic, older, (17 years older…) and who seemingly had his life together. So, we started dating.

He said he was on parole because he ‘was burning trash on a high wind day, it got out of control and burned down his neighbor’s barn, killing award-winning livestock.’ I figured, eh it’s an accident, those happen, so we continued dating. I got pregnant. We got engaged. I had a miscarriage. We got married. Timeline? June – September.

A year later, I got pregnant again. His 18-year-old daughter moved in with us, and mentioned something about ‘the dude that died in the fire.’ I stormed to his job and demanded an explanation. He said he was looking for money to buy substances, broke into an eye doctor, and lit it on fire to cover his tracks. The eye doctor died during the trial due to the stress.

I stayed with him. We had our daughter. I finally left him after two years of lies, cheating, and abuse.

When my daughter was 4, he ended up in prison again. And again. Now he’s currently being tried for yet another criminal case. He hasn’t seen her in five years. We’ve been separated nine. I’m finally not scared and am working on the divorce with the help of an attorney so I can marry the man I’ve been with since 2013.”

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The Awful Reason They Took Away Work From Home Privleges

“My wife is going through cancer treatment at the moment and my employer knowingly canceled a flexible work arrangement to work from home while I look after her. The arrangement was made to reduce the financial impact of having to take time off to look after her.

When I challenged them, they said they were worried about my wellbeing and wanted me to focus on caring for my wife rather than working from home.

The cancellation of my flexible work arrangement happened on the same day my Team Leader leaked an email to my entire team when she replied all to an email her boss sent out and she questioned the validity of my ability to work from home.

Multiple people in our team requested to work from home over the years and have all been declined, so when it leaked that I was given the ability to do so to look after my wife, everything hit the fan and they panicked and canceled my arrangement altogether.

So now I have to take unpaid time off when I need to look after my wife because these heartless pricks would rather punish everyone than allow people to care for their loved ones, all under the guise of being concerned for my wellbeing/work-life balance.”

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“Don’t Believe The Crap The Career Department Tells You”

“For context, there are two types of lawyers in the UK: Solicitors (who build the case) and Barristers (who present the case in court). I decided to go down the Solicitor route, which requires you to do the Legal Practice Course (LPC) and then two years on a training contract with a law firm. Since I did a non-law degree, I had to take the conversion course first.

Now onto the bull: the entire two years I was at law school, the careers department and the tutors only drummed one message into our heads. That the only way to have a successful career as a lawyer was to get a training contract with a law firm and qualify. That was all they talked about. I graduate, and the truth finally became clear.

First, I learned that there are so few training contracts available that getting one is like winning the lottery and the application process is a freaking rat race.

The second thing I learned, this time through my successful friends, is that if you do win the lottery, working a training contract is such a thankless job, with long hours, way too much work and no freaking work-life balance.

But the third and most crucial thing I learned: law firms are the least efficient way to make a successful career in law. I’ve been doing temp and contract work for a year now, and my career growth rate is way higher than I expected. Plus, I have a fantastic work-life balance, my salary is decent for someone a year out of college, and I’m working with some pretty amazing companies. I’ve met some amazing people who like me started in law, but realized what a waste it was.

What I’m getting at is: don’t believe all the stuff your careers department tells you about your career path. The world works very differently. And not necessarily for the worse.”

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Does He Really Care About The Students?

“My principal says he cares about each and every student. Here’s a few reasons why I have to question that:

-He doesn’t punish bullying if the bullies are from rich families or important athletes, but will threaten average students with punishment for one time offenses.

-He is overall more concerned with athletics than he is academics. He actually shortened a field trip of a graded class that had been happening for years because it was the same weekend as a basketball game. He said he didn’t want to force a decision on his students (who usually came up after the game anyways and no one complained). Only four students of the class would be involved this year and all of them disagreed with the principal’s decision.

-He holds different extracurriculars to different standards. He lets the girls cross country and both basketball teams run the halls when they make it to state. However, the quiz team had to fight tooth and nail to get the same privilege when they made nationals. He said that quiz was not a real sport and that the hall running was for sports only. Nevermind that this was the first time we had gone to nationals and that we did better than our sports teams typically do at state.

-He has made racist jokes about Asians to a few students (myself included) who said they planned to leave their study hall exam to eat at a Chinese restaurant. First mocking the accent of the owner and then making a classic ‘eating animals we consider pets’ joke. He doesn’t have a lot of Asian students but if the jokes reveal his true feelings, he can’t be that concerned about most of them and their wellbeing.

-This last one is not totally related to his lie, but illustrates the kind of person he is. On the day of David Bowie’s death, after a quiz practice, he stopped in and asked if we had heard about what was happening and if we enjoyed Bowie’s music. He then said, ‘I don’t think they’ll really miss him,’ as if he were some war criminal. It was insulting, but it did inspire me to look into Bowie out of spite and it’s good stuff.”

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“The Most Elaborate Load Of Dung My Brother Ever Told Me”

“As a kid, my brother and I used to play a lot of Pokémon. He was really good at finding secrets – hidden items and the like. One day, he told me he discovered that if you started the Pokémon League in Gold/Silver with a level 40 Wooper and beat the League with just that Wooper (no other Pokémon in your party), you’d be able to enter a secret town called Wooper Town. All NPC’s were Wooper. For every level, you raised a Wooper the NPC’s would give you a currency called Wooper Coins which you could use to buy just about any item you can imagine, even Master Balls. Wooper used to be my favorite Pokémon at the time, so this sounded like heaven to me.

So there I went on my epic quest to beat the League with my loyal Wooper. I caught one, grinded that bad boy up to 40 (the first one evolved of course, so my brother taught me how to cancel evolution and I started over with a second Wooper), stocked up on as many potions, X-defenses, etc. as I could afford and finally started the League. Now let me tell you, this took weeks (if not months), and it was a nightmare. Poor Wooper took some terrible beatings. I tried all kinds of different tactics, taught him different moves and eventually, through a sheer amount of will, incredible luck and probably a whole lot of pity from the Gods, Wooper and I beat the League. The credits rolled, I may or may not have cried a bit, smashed the continue button so hard the A button on my GameBoy got stuck and…nothing. Just my character in my room and mom standing downstairs cooking dinner. I was not in Wooper Town.

I went and asked my brother how to reach Wooper Town, now that Wooper and I had defeated the League. That would be the only time in my life I’ve seen my brother cry with laughter. He then told me that Wooper Town didn’t exist and I’m pretty sure I cried for a week straight.

This is the most elaborate load of dung my brother ever told me. Now that I’m older, I have to admit I’m amazed by the sheer creativity of that prank, but I just remember being so hurt by the fact that Wooper Town was a lie, it took me a long time to pick up a Pokémon game again.”

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